I Had Another Nightmare

I woke up screaming this morning. Naturally I wrote a poem.

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(“Eldritch”)

I’ve been having nightmares
Worms beneath the ocean
Ancient and forgotten things
In a submarine inside the belly of the beast
A mouth with many teeth that clamp and strangle

I saw so many faces
Turning into masks
Their loved ones changing right before their eyes
I saw a beast that stood beside my bed
No eyes and scales across it’s awful head
I screamed like a siren
Calling for you to save me

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The Library

library

There’s a library in my dreams. Now that I think about it I know I’ve visited it in several dreams, and it’s always a little different. Once it was a book store that I went to, driving in my old truck in the middle of the night. I browsed the shelves and the owner got a little annoyed because I was taking too long. Another time it was a kind of pawn shop though it had a lot of great books. On what feels like more than one occasion it was a real, grand library, and the sun shining in the windows was always yellowish golden, the shelves lined multiple floors and there were staircases. There is an attic I’ve been to once, where a woman who works there stores books. I think they’re about her children. On one occasion the man who runs the place was watching someone walk outside a side door, into the sunlight.

The man who runs the place changes. Sometimes he is an old, cranky man who wants to go home. Sometimes he is young and handsome with a charming smile, and he loves to be around the books. Sometimes the walks with me and others (a girl who joined me on one occasion) and tells us about the books, sometimes he just calls to ask if we need help. Sometimes when he is the old man he barks for me to hurry up. I think I usually find something I like, though I remember that one day the librarywas stocked with a lot of things i found boring.I dont think I have ever bought a book, though.

All of this is true. I just suddenly remembered it, standing in the kitchen. Any readers of Sandman are probably drawing some parallels. I wonder? Does the Lord of Dreams tend to the library I visit? Is he a cranky old man, or a handsome young gentleman? Do I never buy any books because i cant actually take them out of my dreams? What if one day I wake up to see one on the table my bedside? What would be in it, I wonder?

dream

Dream Journal: Flying Dream

I apologize beforehand at the lack of structure in the following post. When I write down my dreams I’m usually sleepy and have just woke up, so I’m just writing it down as I remember it without any thought of form or sentence structure.

I had another flying dream last night. There was a lot going on, but the most important thing was that I was in my old neighborhood where I grew up, and I could get to an area where the wind was blowing, hold out my arms, and the wind would pick me up and carry me. Then I could angle myself in such a way that I flew much faster, or I could slow down. It was a little scary because the wind would give out sometimes and I would start to plummet, but if I just believed hard enough, it would pick me back up again, and I’d go back to soaring. I could go faster if I wanted to, and not just that, I had power over wind. I could wave my hand and move things around with the wind, I could affect the world around me.
A common theme in my dreams lately is that there is a story with characters and I examine the dream from a literary standpoint, thinking to myself “I need to remember to write all of this down when I wake up!” though usually, it’s pretty silly when I wake up. At a certain point, we had reached the end of the “first book,” and a lot of the characters were all killed by the villains, and I was mostly alone, flying down the road, but I met someone else with the same power as me (earlier on the dream I had been teaching kids to fly, they could do it too, but they had to be taught). This person saw me flying and joined me. I believe they started as a girl, but at some point became a guy. We flew threw some pretty weird things, there was a hallway (which appeared in a previous dream, with paintings all over the walls) that became a kind of mausoleum, where the characters who had died in the first story were being wrapped up and buried (oddly, Whitney Houston was one of them), or actually chopped up and disposed of. I know it sounds really scary, but in the dream I just remember telling my companion that I didn’t want to see it (we were flying through the indoor area now) and covering my eyes, but we made it outside into the parking lot.
The villain was Naraku from Inuyasha, who was trapped inside of a house from earlier in the story. It also turns out that the reason I could fly was that there was a spirit who was living inside my body who talked to me for the first time. It was a pretty standard “ooooh I’m a ghost,” kind of thing, but once again looking in from the outside, I seemed to understand that this spirit was a part of Naraku, and that even though Naraku would eventually escape and become the main villain, this spirit would purify him when he rejoined him. Interestingly another villain showed up in the parking lot and me and my friend were hiding from him. The last thing I remember is that after he left, we were seen flying by a woman and she tried to tell someone else, but I somehow made us look like red birds and managed to keep it secret, hiding in a tree and shaking the branches and dropping things on them to try and make them look down, and flying back out over the neighborhood.

There were some other random details. My grandmother was in the dream, though at times she became a different person entirely, who was outfitting me with some shoes that I would wear the in the “second book,” Sophia from the Golden Girls was one of the parents of another kid in the neighborhood, and there was a sequence at the end where all of the parents (or perhaps grandparents?) were saying goodbye to their children, as we were all going forward to fight the enemies of the story, though by the time I arrived at the entrance to the neighborhood where they were waiting (along with several magical animals that I believe were elephants), all of them had apparently been killed.

Interestingly I also had a separate dream in which I was at my grandmothers house and found a Bible that was actually a book filled with photographs of a young man and his girlfriend having sex. Wanting to keep it for myself, I hid it from my grandmother, but then the dream changed, and I was in this young man’s house, and he, the girlfriend, and the father of the house I believe, were all trying to keep me inside so that I didn’t tell the world about these sex photos. I was very audacious, especially considering that in this dream I was very young, maybe twelve or so, and told them that they couldn’t keep me inside forever, and eventually I would get away from them and find safety. I don’t remember them explicitly hitting or abusing me, but there was definitely an abusive atmosphere, and a lot of fear being there. Eventually I did somehow make it outside and ran from them but I don’t remember anything after this. This dream actually happened before the flying dream.

Death And Rebirth

This was an email I sent to one of my friends after waking up after a particularly odd dream.

So I had the oddest dream last night and I have to recount it to someone before I lose all the details.

It began at Books-A-Million, and I ran into my high school chorus teacher who took me and my mother on a drive. Then I was in high school again (and being back in high school has happened to me several times in my dreams) and I was walking around the hallways skipping class by hanging out in the bathrooms. Then switch to me working at Walmart, which isn’t all that strange, but there was some kind of confusion over at the return counter and people kept going inside this office that had a cash register in front of it. It may have been when I went into the office that I died, I’m not sure.

Then I was Frasier, from Frasier, and I was informed that I had died, in a chemical explosion of some sort, though my memories were of driving a car (or a bicycle, I’m not sure) into a wall. At any rate I was alive again because Niles had switched bodies with me and I was now in Niles’ body, but I had lost my Frasier memories and if I tried to go back to my body without my memories I would die completely. Fun fact, when Roz entered and I didn’t remember her I thought she was a hooker. At some point we (the cast of Frasier) were on a huge field that may or may not have had a giant metal Daphne terrorizing people like Godzilla, I say may or may not because I honestly have some kind of memory of this but I’m not sure. It was then I regained my Frasier memories and so after Niles cried happily about this (oddly he looked like himself again) I passed out to wake up in my own body again.

When I woke up I was myself, not Frasier, and I had a roommate whose name might have been Jonathan and who might have been a real Jonathan I dated once, he had all kinds of questions about video games he hadn’t been able to ask me while I was dead. I also had to call in to work to explain I hadn’t been in for a couple of days because I’d been dead.

At this point I took my mother on a car drive to explain to her how I had died, and we found a house with a wall in front of it much like (but not the same) the wall I had crashed into. Also I was terrified to retrace any of the steps of what I had done that had actually killed me, though I can’t remember from the dream what exactly that was. Anyway the house with the wall in front of it was owned by a nice lady who invited us in, who had a very hot son. I was offered the guest bedroom to sleep in (my mother had left at this point) but I was informed that her husband had died in this room and she wanted everything kept the way it had been when he died, including the temperature. I ignored this and turned on the AC. I slept in the bed, or tried to, I don’t remember, when the hot son came in, informed me that I just had to put everything (including the temperature and making the bed) back the way it had been when his father died when I was done with the room. Then we started fooling around, which was awesome because as I mentioned he was hot, and also really skinny. Then after we (woke up? I’m not sure) were done, we went into the rest of the house where there was a maid, a piano, and all of the rooms were conjoined with no walls separating them, except for his bathroom. I peeked  at him in his bathroom to see him playing with his phone on the toilet, and then after he came out the maid started cleaning the bathroom.

Then I got into a battle with the maid because apparently one of us thought the way she was spraying stuff on the mirror and it bounced off was similar in some way to the Nazis trying to convert people to their cause, and so she and I started yelling and then I’m not sure if I fought her but I ran from her with my friend (who was now no longer the hot guy, he had left apparently, but was a friend of the hot guy, who was incidentally a hot skinny black guy) and when we got outside the road had turned to a river and as it happened, there was a raft with paddles attached to it and in the dream I was some kind of master raftsman, so we climbed on and paddled away from the maid who was now the angry stepfather of the house (he may have been the real father, even though he was dead).

We went downstream for a while until we were going through the woods and I found some people I knew from work, one of whom was my (incidentally gay) friend. Oh wait, before we got here we had made a pit stop at a gas station where Tori Amos had played a song on the radio that sounded exactly like Dear Jessie by Madonna with different lyrics. Also from the time we left the house until the pit stop there had been a third guy with us who was older and also may have been the father of that house, and who might have been the very same one we were running from except he was good.

So anyway we were in the woods and I carried some cute little creature with me (it may have been a cat I have no idea) up to my gay friend from work, put down the creature and grabbed him, by the back of his head to pull him close. He was freaked out because he thought I was trying to kiss him but I was just trying to whisper to him. I told him I’d had a terrible day, that I had died, and then recounted everything else to him. He felt bad for me and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

And then, my gay friend and the hot black guy (who I believe I had now kissed and we had become more than just friends) went up the street to the gas station with some other people and I waited behind in the woods/neighborhood, and I peed off the side of a high porch onto everyone’s stores of fruits and vegetables. I was criticized by one of the girls there who was incidentally a character called Katara from a show called Avatar: the Last Airbender.

And… That’s it. Nothing happened after that because I woke up. I just really wanted to document all of that. So there’s my crazy dream for today. Fun fact: this is what most of my dreams are like.