A guy from a dating site I have an account on messaged me a couple of days ago. It was all pleasant and stuff, and so he gave me his number. The following morning I texted him and said good morning, he said something suggestive along the lines of “I’m typing with one hand, heehee,” which I thought was kinda cute. Then he sends me a picture of his cock. And I was like wow that’s nice so I sent him one back. And that was pretty much that.
Two days later, I texted him saying, “How are you?” and he said “Horny as always.” I was a little aggravated that this was the topic he went right back to but I made some comment like “Oh, and I thought I was the only one-track minded one around here.” He then responds with, “Show me your asshole,” to which I responded, “Dude, we’ve never even had a conversation.” And then he got all angsty and said “It’s okay, guys just betray you and turn their backs on you anyway.” And I said “Yeah, well if you start swapping dick pics with them before you even bother to ask them what their favorite color is, you might expect that kind of treatment.”
Look, I’m an open-minded, and frankly pretty easily excitable and sexual person, so it’s fine with me if someone wants to say he’s jackin’ it or send me a picture or something. Clearly I didn’t mind it cause I sent him one back. That was all very cute and flirty and fun. But to get offended because I didn’t then send him more nudes when he hasn’t even asked me my last name or where my favorite place to eat is, kind of shows what kind of character he has. I love sex as much as the next person, but how can you treat people like they’re sexual objects and then get offended when they DON’T treat you like one back? It’s mind boggling!
Then it got worse. I said to him, “Try getting to know me, then we’ll see about the other stuff.” And he said “Okay, let’s talk.” so I said, “What do you want to know about me?” and he said, “What are you after?” which seems a little confrontational but okay. So I told him I want to accomplish my dreams, be successful, find health and wellness and surround myself with friends who lift me up, and hopefully along the way find someone who feels the same way I do and who treats me with compassion and respect.
To which he responds, “Yeah I want that too. I’m hoping I may have found it with this guy I was talking to on Saturday. He’s a bit younger though.” I was a pretty apalled by that, and I sent him a message back saying that if the way he normally treats guys is to ask for naked pictures of them without having a conversation beforehand and then tell them about their other dating prospects, I’m not surprised so many people have left him.
He sent me a text basically saying to screw off, and said that the other guy “showed the initiative” to drive to where he lives and meet him, whereas I didn’t. This says multiple things about him. First: that I am a sexual object, and my purpose is to give him pleasure or to spend my time and effort to come and see him when he has shown me no respect or consideration whatsoever, not even tried to get to know me.
Second: that I, upon learning he has another prospect, am supposed to become incredibly jealous and fight for his attention with my unnamed romantic adversary, when he hasn’t even shown me the consideration of, oh I don’t know, asking my favorite fucking color or something, just begging for dick and asshole shots.
Third: that anyone he meets is obligated to come to HIM, because god forbid he come to THEM, or show THEM any attention. The narcissism of this guy!
Anyway, clearly the turnaround rate for guys met on online dating sites is pretty high. Honestly I would just quit looking for prospects online altogether, except there are genuinely no other ways to meet gay people where I live. I don’t go to bars, and there are few bars to begin with. On to the next, I suppose.