Does anyone remember MySpace? Well, back in the days of MySpace, most people had a profile that was something along the lines of “This is me, this is who I am, these are my best friends, this is my favorite music,” and then there would be a survey that they took about their personality or things that they liked. I really loved doing those things, and now with the advent of Facebook, we really don’t get a chance to do all those interesting little surveys anymore, but I love answering questions about myself, because I always have a lot to say.
As such, I’ve avoided posting surveys here on my blog for a long time but you know what? Fuck it! It’s my blog and I can do what I want. I always put pressure on myself to write every entry like it’s an article in the frickin’ New York Times, but honestly, one of my daily goals for my life is to write something every day. I’ve been stuck on a chapter in my story for weeks now, simply because it’s a chapter that introduces such important characters that I’m a little intimidated and don’t know where to start or what to say. I thought that tonight I might work up the nerve to write it, and believe me I went the whole nine yards: I lit a candle, meditated in the dark, had some quiet time, made some tea, but I just wasn’t ready to write. So instead, I’m going to do a survey. Maybe I’ll start doing more, too!
Name your favorite…
This is a little difficult to answer. I feel like I have a genuine answer to this and I just can’t think of what it is. Anyway, one of my favorite places is this old abandoned railroad bridge running over the river, and it was next to a house I lived in when I was a young teenager. I used to walk the train tracks in the woods by myself while I was playing outside or brainstorming or living fantasy adventures, and I would walk on this rickety old bridge that was way too dangerous for anyone to walk on, but I would just stand there high up in the air and stare out over the river, all by myself. I actually have a fear of heights normally, but for some reason I wasn’t scared, and if there is a place to be scared, it was this bridge. There were huge gaps between the beams, some of them were broken, it was really not a safe place to be, but I loved it. I would even stand on the edge of the bridge holding on to the beams and staring out over the river. I don’t know why, but it was so peaceful. I would also love to be deep in a rainy forest.
There a lot of people in the world who I admire, but in my personal life, my favorite person is probably my friend Jenn. She is one of the most kind and understanding and funny people I’ve ever known, she always gives perfect advice, she is pretty much always right about everything, and she has never ever had anything bad to say to me or about me. I feel like there has only been one time when things got slightly uncomfortable to the point of almost an argument, but I can’t remember when or what it was about. I genuinely and very much love her. I met her when I was in the midst of a very abusive relationship, as well as dealing with some of the most intense and debilitating anxiety and panic attack issues I’ve ever faced, and she was so supportive of me. Don’t tell her this but I’m thinking of dedicating my book to her. Shhh.
Blue. It’s always been blue. Particularly royal blue, or any kind of deep shade of blue. I love wearing blue clothing, I love blue ties, blue is just a beautiful color. My second favorite is green, particularly a deep forest green, something naturey, but not lime green. I find pastel green to be icky. I also enjoy a nice deep red. I suppose I just like primary colors. And yes I know that RGB are not technically the primary colors, but you know what? I can create any window color in Final Fantasy VII with those colors, so suck it.
I enjoy a lot of food, but only sometimes do I ever find food I really love to eat. My favorites include sushi, particularly Philadelphia roll or any of the really expensive ones that I can never afford like dragon roll or cherry blossom, etc. I also love pizza, and I don’t so much enjoy really thin New York style pizza that you find in most pizza restaurants, I actually love the greasy drive-through Little Caesar’s pizza, with marinara sauce to dip it in and Coke to drink. Yummy. Also a fan of gyros and other Greek food, just about anything with a layer of melted cheese on top, and I love enchiladas with extra cilantro in/on top of it.
5. Thing To Do When Bored
My favorite thing tends to be playing a video game while listening to a television show or podcast, particularly something funny or comedic, or interviews. I also love to watch ASMR videos on Youtube, and then of course masturbation is always fun. There are two folders in my bookmarks bar of porn links, yet strangely I don’t really use them that much.
I have a few. My favorite movie is probably The Fountain by Darren Aronovsky, with gorgeous music by Clint Mansell. I can’t even really describe how deep the movie is, it’s so beautiful, so full of sadness, grief, and hope. I have some pretty upsetting memories attached to it but I still love it and I can’t watch it without crying. I don’t let myself watch it often, I think I’ve only seen it twice before, but both times were incredibly impacting. I love Aliens, Sigourney Weaver’s character Ellen Ripley is my favorite action hero of all time, up there with Samus Aran and Lightning Farron. I also enjoy a random smattering of other movies: Van Helsing, Amadeus, Sucker Punch, but in general I tend to watch mostly comedies. I love watching those silly independent gay films that are so plentiful on Netflix like Longhorns or Eating Out. They’re so sexy and funny, and you usually get to see a cock or three somewhere in there.
Something soft, like silk, or whatever the hell it is this really comfortable throw blanket from Kohl’s that I got for Christmas is made out of. Then of course there is another texture, which is that of another person. Being held in someone’s arms, feeling the warmth of their skin, especially just after a bath, and the feel of a boys lips kissing mine, or his cheek against mine, or his hair when I bury my nose in it, those textures mean a lot to me.
I assume we’re talking alcoholic, in which case anything creamy. I love Bailey’s, I love White Russians, I love Chocolate Wine and Mud Slides, and I also really enjoy Bloody Mary’s too.
9. Precious Stones
Sapphires because they’re blue and because they played an important role in a lot of my old fantasy stories that I used to act out on my own in my front yard by myself, hence why my username for most of my old accounts was Sapphire Jesse, and then there are Emeralds, which are my birthstone. I feel a real connection to being a Gemini and to the color green. There are probably some more stones and minerals that I have a connection with that might keep me grounded or help me to have around, but I just haven’t found them yet.
10. Video Game
This is a loaded question because there are just so many of them, but a few of my favorites are Final Fantasy Tactics, Breath of Fire III, and Final Fantasy IX. I think those three have probably had the most impact on me as a writer, along with, of course, my childhood favorite Final Fantasy VII. Other games like Metroid and Fire Emblem have provided me with ideas and inspiration as well, though.
Pigs are my favorite animal. I think they’re so incredibly cute, and I’d love to meet one in person, the last time I saw a pig up close was as a child. The same goes for cows, I find them to be really beautiful animals that sort of symbolize maternity for me in a spiritual way. One of my life goals for a while has been to drink milk directly from the udder of a cow.
12. Eye Color
For a very long time I had a thing for boys with blue eyes, but I admit my tastes have changed to a deep chestnut brown now. The most beautiful eyes I have ever seen were like pools of caramel chocolate. Two boys I’ve met have had those kind of eyes, and they’re unforgettable. I hope I’m lucky enough to end up with someone who has beautiful brown eyes one day.
There are a few. It’s a toss up between The Vampire Lestat by Anne Rice, Dracula by Bram Stoker, Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, and Letters To A Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke. All of these books had a big impact on me.
This is a pretty loaded question because there are literally more than a hundred musicians that I really enjoy, but the ones that are closest to my heart are Imogen Heap, Tori Amos, Florence + the Machine, Kate Bush, Regina Spektor, Amanda Palmer, Stephen Sondheim, and Annie Lennox. Then there are the musicians that I kind of refer to as my “teenage favorites”: My Chemical Romance, Evanescence, Paramore, and Fall Out Boy. There are quite a lot of them though.
That cute kind of puppy-dog noise that a boy makes if you’re cuddling and he’s really content and happy and he just kind of whines gently while you touch his back or he cuddles you close. I admit, usually that’s been me, but I hope one day I can find a boy who is that affectionate to me and who loves me enough to make those silly noises.