#73: Adulthood, Day One

I had my first honest day’s work in a long time.

Porn would be much easier. I think I’ll get a hot body and do porn. We’ll call that plan B.

But yes, I got a job, at a burger restaurant called Five Guys Burgers and Fries. I had a hell of a time getting there a few days ago to fill out my paperwork after I was hired (riding a bike up the road two miles while trying to figure out how to work a wonky crosswalk and standing in the grass like an idiot holding a bike), and until yesterday I was sure I’d have to go through all that again to get to work, but luckily I got a ride from our neighbor. I worked for three and half hours; I can’t figure out if it went by quickly or not. But I’ll get used to it, I did a remarkably good job adapting to the loud, crowded, busy environment.

I was so scared this morning that I was sure I’d have a panic attack. And once I got to the restaurant, I wasn’t so sure that I was wrong. But luckily I do well with repetitive work that only needs explaining once, and the manager started me out cutting potatoes and cleaning the back for the first hour, and the rest of the time was spent on the line putting burgers together. Luckily I didn’t have to cook, but we’ll see how it goes when I do have to cook, because I do not like standing in front of a hot grill for hours. But it’s another thing I’ll have to get over.

Basically, this restaurant is everything I need to get over my lingering traces of agorophobia. I get scared and have panic attacks when things get blurry (they always do for me because I don’t have glasses anymore), when there are large crowds that I have to interact with, when I’m hot, and when it’s loud. I have a very good amount of all of those things here, and I really surprised myself today because after the initial fear, the anxiety more or less went away, and I stayed calm and handled myself well.

Adulthood: day one. Complete.

Now can I please go back to eating, sleeping and masturbating all day? Please? PLEASE?

Alright fine, I’ll grow up. But I’m not gonna like it.

Now if only I had a sexy boy to come home to and snuggle with.

We’ll call that objective number two.

One.

Okay, two.

…one.

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