#47: They Say That True Love Hurts, Well This Could Almost Kill Me

Do you have any idea what that look on your face is like? The one you get when you look into his eyes. The way you smile at everything he does. I’ve never, ever, ever in my life seen someone so in love. I believe in love because of you.

It’s sad that I don’t have someone to look at me that way. Life is complicated. But then it isn’t. But then, yes it is.

I don’t even want either of you, despite how big of a crush I have on you both, because I truly believe you love one another.

And I am the outsider. That’s okay. That’s not your fault. It’s always been that way with me. I don’t cut myself, I don’t kill small animals, I don’t do anything bad. I just, am alone. I always have been. I tried. I tried to love. I have so much. Maybe I have too much. Maybe all my love’s afraid to come out.

I hope I can find a guy like you one day. Then I wouldn’t find myself crying every night. At least, not for bad reasons.

Maybe one day I’ll find someone with your eyes. And I’ll cry tears of joy.

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One thought on “#47: They Say That True Love Hurts, Well This Could Almost Kill Me

  1. I think part of your sadness is due to your environment. I think once things calm down for you or your able to gain a bit of independence things will get better. I know, for me, once I was able to be on my own and really live my own life and had the freedom to be myself I was happier.
    Except that kind of created a monster. I now think I’m “fucking awesome” and no one has been able to convince me otherwise for quite some time.

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