#42: I Think I Might Write Erotica

I’ve known for a while that I want to write, but I’ve never been able to figure out exactly what genre it might be. I’ve always been very interested in fantasy, but I’m not sure that at this point I really have the ability to tackle a serious adventure novel. When I used to write a lot of fiction, I found myself naturally pulled toward romance, and I always wanted the sexuality of the romance to be a real thing that wasn’t glanced over or ignored. And in fact, I’ve always felt that in whatever genre I write, sexuality will be a part of it; serious, real, and uncensored.

What really got me thinking about this though, is a book I got from my boyfriend a long time ago called Best of Best Gay Erotica 2. It’s been sitting in the top drawer of my dresser for a long time, and every now and then I get it out and read some, but the more I’ve read it the more I’ve noticed how great of a quality the collection is. It’s a series of selections from novels, and the thing that I noticed is the wide range of writing styles. Some are in third person narrative, some are spoken in conversational first person, and one was written in this really cool style that was like a stream of conciousness; the words and sentences flowed as they would in the narrator’s mind and speech. It was actually really effective.

I’m starting to think that erotica is a completely underappreciated literary style. People treat it like it’s dirty, but it’s actually beautiful. The stories I’ve read come from a real place and have heart, they’re not just quick sexual descriptions for the reader to get off to; they’re exciting, emotional, and deep.

When you think about it, isn’t it a tragedy that erotica would be so frowned upon, when, of all genres, it is the most personal, the most intimate, and the most touching? There is such a thing as sexual art.

Think about it. Why would you think pornography is a bad thing? Because society teaches you that sex is dirty and watching other people have sex is dirty, and so you’re conditioned to think it’s dirty. But why can’t it be beautiful? Can anyone truly have emotionless sex? In the moment of orgasm, is there anyone who is not completely enraptured, anyone who does not for one moment truly reveal themselves on some level?

I’m beginning to think that life is not so complicated, not so full of “bad” things as we are taught to believe. There is a right and a wrong way to go about everything, and there may be some erotic fiction that is lazily thrown together and comes completely from a place of lust, but then again, is lust such a bad thing? Can an emotion so profound truly inspire anything dirty or bad? I’m not so sure.

Sex is not a bad thing. I think I’m beginning to understand that. There is no reason why sex should be wrong, because it’s true and human and beautiful. It is a complicated thing, and in a relationship, it should be handled in accordance with every individual’s needs, but why should it be considered wrong, or dirty? We have restrooms in all public places because there are things we need to do to survive, and everyone accepts it. But sexuality is repressed, and when we begin to become sexual beings, society teaches us to keep it in our pants and never reveal our whole selves in front of the public, and so sex becomes something that must take place in secret, behind closed doors. There are positive effects to this: it becomes that much more intimate; but think: if society embraced sexuality, wouldn’t we all, for one, be having a lot more fun? And apart from just that, sexuality is such an important part of ourselves, especially for young people who are feeling the first burst of sexuality, that to hide it is to deny who we are. We have this idea that we are civilized, and above other things, but we are still living beings upon this planet, who experience the same cycle that all other creatures do, and sexuality is a beautiful, beautiful part of our existance. When you step back and look at it, it really is an amazing thing: we have this drive to go forth and be with one another, to literally enter and touch and feel one another, we are so drawn to the scent and the taste of one another that our heads become dizzy and our minds become numb, and for a little while, we forget that we are in this society of “civilized” people, and we strip ourselves of our clothing and we reveal ourselves. How can that not be a special thing?

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One thought on “#42: I Think I Might Write Erotica

  1. I agree that sex is a beautiful thing. And yes, sometimes I joke about watching (mostly because I’m bi and tease Matt about me hooking up with girls…) I think that sex is also a very private thing. It creates a connection between two people. So in that sense, I guess I’m kind of traditionalist. Although, not really but we don’t need to get into all the details.
    I say write what you want to write, and what comes naturally to you. My only other advice is to be careful. There is a huge difference between beautiful art and vulgar smut. 🙂

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