I was just watching an interview with Lady Gaga, in which she said that she’s a feminist. She talked about the ways that women are perceived, and how she rejects it, she talked about the beauty of women, she championed them. Similarly, Tori Amos talks about the special experience of being a woman, the magic and the beauty of it. Most of the artists I enjoy champion women. I don’t know why, I can’t explain it, but it just makes me feel…hurt. These people who I’ve invested so much time and energy into, they’re not necessarily anti-male, but I feel left out. I feel like I can’t understand their message because it’s that women should be uplifted, but men are either spoken of as the enemy, spoken of as neutral, or not spoken of at all. There is no one who says that we should all be human, that we should embrace who we are as human beings, not as male or female. There’s no one who advocated “humanism,” it’s just becoming anti-male.

I’m not saying it’s a bad thing to appreciate women, or to see their beauty. And I’m not here to rant or berate anyone. I just feel hurt. I see Lady Gaga talking about the beauty of women, and the perception of women, and I hear a completely one-sided thing. It makes me, as a fan, feel left out, feel rejected by her. And I know that’s exactly the opposite of what Lady Gaga wants, of what her message is. She wants only to spread love and peace. I don’t know why, but I’m near the point of tears because of this exclusion of the male and championing of the female. Men have for generations treated women badly, but does that mean that all men now are the same men that deprived women of their rights for hundreds of years? Can there be no hope for men?

Why can there not be someone who embraces what it is to be male, who doesn’t stereotype us as pigs or sex-addicts, why is there not one fucking person who says, “Look at me, I’m a man. This is much more than what society says it is to be a man. I have layers, I have emotions, I’m beautiful.” The way society paints men is just as wrong as the way it paints women. I understand that there’s a stigma, because women have had to claw and bite their way through the film of cheauvanism to have equal rights, but why does it have to be one side or another? Why can there not be humanism? Why does it have to be feminism or masculism? Why does it have to be all or nothing? This is practically war! Why can we not say, “Hold on. Let’s not look at JUST the feminine or JUST the masculine, let’s look at them together. They were made to be together, let’s look at them that way.” There is feminine and masculine in everyone, and they are meant to be together in that sense. Obviously, since I’m gay, and intelligent, I’m not going to go spreading some stereotypical Christian bullshit.

I just feel hurt. I feel somehow abused, and somehow betrayed. I know that Gaga doesn’t mean it that way, and I don’t fault her for that. I just feel like I’m left out, because I’m male. I feel like there’s no voice saying, “Not only is the social concept of the feminine wrong, but the social concept of the masculine is wrong too. Men are beautiful creatures, and they’re not at all the way society paints them to be. They’re not uncouth and reckless, they’re not warlike and unintelligent, men are just as beautiful as women. We are EQUAL. TRULY equal. There is no feminism or masculism, but humanism. Embracing ALL people.”

Just because one group was oppressed doesn’t mean they should now become the oppressors, or the cycle will repeat. It’s not fair for anyone to have dominance, everything needs to be equal. People need to behave with maturity, love, and compassion.

I can’t explain it, I just feel hurt.


5 thoughts on “Feminism

    • Thanks for the links. I read through those three posts, and while she made some good points (albeit so fiercely that I almost felt like I was being attacked), the one I disagreed with was the third one, arguing against the concept of humanism. I’d like to make it clear I’m dealing with abstract concepts hear when I’m talking about humanism, not actually hashing out the details. It sounded as if she were saying that feminism includes ALL kinds of….women. But still, just women. She argued against the concept of feminism being just for women several times, but then listed out every kind of WOMAN she could think of, and seemed to be countering her own argument.

      But even if I’m incorrect, my point here wasn’t that I feel that some social injustice has been done to me, it just personally made me feel hurt. I may have just been having a bad morning, or perhaps it was more because of who said it, someone I’ve spent a lot of time researching and viewing and listening to. I was just stating my emotions, not necessarily saying that I believe some great social revolution needs to take place, merely the concept of it.

      I think it’s wrong that there is a group that so champions all the positive aspects of women, but that there’s not a group championing the same things for the other gender, or at least a group that realizes that gender distinctions are not quite so necessary as society would have us believe. Either gender being praised or denounced is wrong. Men now have become the brunt of jokes and are still associated with negative stereotypes of being brute and childlike. I just feel that in a perfect world, feminists and masculists would exist solely for the cause of promoting the positive aspects of both genders, and that people would focus more on the shared concept of humanity. My argument here was for the representation of what it is to be a man or woman, in a spiritual and personal sense, but not necessarily a political one.

      Besides, as I said, there are masculine and feminine aspects in everyone, and those aspects don’t really necesarily have to be something pertaining to one gender or another, but are really just shared human concepts. There are probably less distinctions between female and male than would seem, and I don’t venture to say that there are no differences between the sexes, but I’m merely suggesting that there are less differences that we think, and that emotion is not always female emotion or male emotion, but human emotion.

  1. Wow. I’m impressed, and I’m sorry that you feel left out. I love your idea of humanism vs feminism and masculinity. I have so much respect for you just for posting this. 🙂 It made my day.

    • Thank you very much! These were just the thoughts on my mind at the time, I honestly do understand the need for feminism, from my limited knowledge on this subject I believe it’s only been in about the last hundred years or so that women have really made great strides forward for equal rights, and it sounds like I’m just an insecure male who doesn’t want his power taken away. That’s not the case, and I do understand it’s a little early on in the quest for women’s rights (how long is a hundred years, really, in the grand scheme of things?) to be trying to take focus away from women who have fought for a long time to be where they are now. It’s just that so many of the people I find myself interested in are so pro-female that they almost seem anti-male. I’m sure that’s not the case, even by the end of this interview I cited, Lady Gaga said that true feminism isn’t about being anti-male, but in my case it does leave a young open-minded male feeling a little left out.

      I’m glad to hear it made your day, and flattered that it would gain someone’s respect. Also, thank you for being the third comment EVER on here! Finally, someone cares! Haha.

  2. Pingback: Feminism (via Jesse Colton) « Pathichose's Blog

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