I’m ecstatic. Honestly, I am. I thought I would approach this birthday with fear and apprehension, and to my surprise I feel reborn. I know that it’s only a day, but it means so much. For some reason, I feel unfettered by my past self. I feel mature, I feel like I’ve risen above the petty things that used to hold me back. I really feel like a new person. I’m no longer a child, I no longer have the “teenage years” weighing my down. Life has begun afresh. I am 20.
And I’m also determined. I don’t feel weak anymore, nor do I feel apprehensive. I want life. I want to taste it, I want to feel it’s many fabrics, listen and be in tune with it’s layers of sound, stand and peer out over it’s valleys, and breathe it’s aromas. Finally, I feel young.
This has actually been a quiet day, however, and the overblown positivity you see above is probably due to a rush of endorphins, thanks to my first-day-of-my-twentieth-year-of-life work out. My boyfriend’s been at work today, but he’ll be off tomorrow and once I get home from work I’m hoping we can go out and celebrate. I really just want to go to Best Buy, hopefully I’ll have gathered enough money to afford a microphone, and then recording can begin! Of course, there is another obstacle, and like being bereft of a mic, it’s an obstacle I’ve had since I first inherited my piano: there’s a broken key. And it’s not the very bottom or very top key, it’s the high E. You might be surprised how many times you find yourself in need of a high E key, and as fate would have it, the keys I play best in usually involve an E natural.
I have an upright piano, I think I’ve mentioned before that it’s a Marcellus, which, as far as Google is concerned, doesn’t exist, so I’m going to assume that the makers were more of a mom-and-pop piano store than, say, Steinway and Sons. It’s a reliable piano, I don’t know if I ever would have made it to this point as a musician if I didn’t have it, but altogether I prefer the sound of most other models to my Marcellus. I enjoy Baldwin’s (particularly their higher octaves); I have limited experience with Steinway, but I believe the piano I often found myself playing in my high school auditorium was a Steinway. A piano I’ve never played, and that I can’t say for sure I’ve ever seen, is a Bosendorfer. These are Tori Amos’ weapon of choice, and they have a very specific sparkling sound to them; I’d like to have the oppurtunity to play one.
But back to my broken E key. I think everyone likes the high range, let’s face it just sounds really pretty, and that high E has been the main reason I don’t read sheet music very often. I’ll learn the first two pages of a song, or perhaps even less, but my hopes will be up, and I’ll find a spot in the music where I need that high E, and I either have to quit, or try to transpose the song down an octave. I once asked a piano tuner how much it would cost to have it fixed, and I believe he said it would be about a hundred dollars. So, in this situation, I need 90 dollars for a microphone, and I need about a hundred to have my piano fixed. I’m going to do them in that order, because I can live without my high E key for a while until I can have the piano fixed, but I’m tired of waiting on a decent recording device to come along.
This seems to be one of those days where I’m not as eloquent as others, don’t hold it against me.
It’s now time for a midnight pot roast dinner, because here at my boyfriend’s house our schedules of working, eating, and sleeping are all transposed up by about 4 hours. I’m really happy to be 20; I don’t feel like a child anymore. I feel like I’ve been given a chance to start living with determination, and success doesn’t feel so out of my grasp anymore. I feel free from the teen age, I feel new, and I feel successful already.
So I’ll wrap up my thoughts and leave you with a poem today. My high school chorus teacher sent me this in honor of my birthday, and while it’s actually not a very bright poem, he says it’s one of his favorites, and I can look on it thoughtfully rather than negaitvely.
Loveliest of Trees
by A.E. Housman
LOVELIEST of trees, the cherry now
Is hung with bloom along the bough,
And stands about the woodland ride
Wearing white for Eastertide.
Now, of my threescore years and ten,
Twenty will not come again,
And take from seventy springs a score,
It only leaves me fifty more.
And since to look at things in bloom
Fifty springs are little room,
About the woodlands I will go
To see the cherry hung with snow.
I’m glad to stand at the beginning of a new decade, I feel the weight of yesterday’s troubles has been lifted; I maturely and postiviely take my first steps into this new year, and this new era of my life. Have a good day everyone.